Not everyone is wired to be a caregiver. Not everyone is called, but when the need arises, people will step up and care for those they love.
In my younger days, I used to tease about falling into the hands of my children. I hoped they would have mercy on me. They would say I could live with them as long as I wasn’t difficult. Otherwise, it would be Shady Pines.
My children were very busy and I could see how it would be. They would leave me at home with the dog from morning to night. I’d be throwing a ball and talking to the dog. No thank you. I will take care of me.
Life has changed. My Sweet Al and I have fallen into the hands of our children. We are not left alone. Even if they are not wired to be caregivers, they have risen to the occasion and have made time for us and taken care of our every need. And, yes, they have shown mercy at every turn.
I relate to this passage in the Bible as I spend days praying: “Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.” Then Jesus said, “Follow me” (John 21:18, NKJV).
When Peter asked about John, Jesus told Peter not to worry about John. Peter had his own mission to accomplish, and one day others would decide his life for him and where he would go. Not where he wished to go, but where others took him. Jesus added by saying, “Follow me in heart and spirit.” Peter would still accomplish his life’s purpose wherever and whenever he was carried by others.
It’s true. I’m not actively pursuing my purpose I thought I needed to accomplish, but being housebound for a while, I’m spending time with the Lord praying for others’ missions. I need my children to help me into a car and drive me. They are still caregivers as I progress from wheelchair to walker, and yet I can soar in the presence of God.
As I pondered on my children as caregivers, I received Peggy Bodde’s newsletter. She calls caregiving a sacred work. Taking care of your loved ones is probably more sacred to God than anything we can do.
Peggy wrote, “God wants us to honor our families and take care of each other, but when we don’t talk about what this means before it happens, we put everyone in a difficult position.
“Caregiving is sacred and sacred is hard. We struggle with the unwieldy tension of being grateful that we’re able to care for our parents while at the same time being battered by what it requires.”
I’ve said to my children, “I don’t want to be a burden, I want you to enjoy me.” It will be up to each child to see us in the right light, a burden or a delight. Hopefully, we still have much to give to our relationships with our children and we are still interesting to them.
Our children didn’t see this mission coming, but have moved into this place of taking care of Al and me. It seems to be a precursor for the days ahead.
Final brushstroke: God has been very generous to us. It seems we are living longer and our bodies start to break down before we are ready to leave this earth. This means even the healthy will need a certain amount of care. It’s a family affair. It’s all part of life.
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