Many times when I’ve come out of some horrible experience that shook me to my toes and rattled my cage I’ve said, “I needed that. I don’t think I could’ve learned the lesson any other way.”
So, from my recent accident, I’ve learned many things I should’ve known years ago, but didn’t take the time to learn.
Compassion. I’ve seen people struggle in wheelchairs and limp in pain, but didn’t understand the difficulty it would be to be bound and dependent. Moving from the wheelchair to the bed, recliner, bathroom, or the desk and computer, takes great effort. Being so independent, thinking I didn’t need help before, I have to rely on others. I’ve missed the blessing of the sweetness and caring of other people. That’s a tragedy.
Be good to your family. If your kids don’t like you for good reason, change your attitude and get right with them. In a split second you might be calling on them for help. My family, the minute they were called, moved into a what-can-we-do-to-help mode. I was relieved there is nothing between us but sweetness and love. I’ve asked a lot of them.
They had to change their work schedules, made trips to Colorado Springs, took care of insurance claims, buy and install supplies for home care, obtained home care when I came from the hospital, and provided someone to be on duty all the time with their dad.
Don’t judge people by how they look. I met some really different characters in the hospital. One young lady, a nurse in her 20s, surprised me. A high-pitched, baby, irritating voice came into the room — one of those voices that you want to slap away. The voice belonged to large, football-linebacker girl with big broad hands. Yet, when they rotated staff, she was the one I looked forward to coming on duty. There was such an assurance and safety in her care for me that I forgot the voice.
Another young man who turned me helped me and gave me the most wonderful care; he was one of my favorites. On his fingers, he had tattooed “love” on his left hand, “self” on his right. I said, “There must be a story in those tattoos.” With a tear in his heart, he said, “Yes.” We don’t know the pain others have experienced to get to where they are. I loved that guy.
My occupational therapist challenged me about a statement I made. Why did he need God?
With his cute man bun, to be married Sept. 27 in the Durango wilderness, he wasn’t concerned about knowing God. I told him in this dark world he would meet challenges that would shake him and his marriage; he needed the light of Jesus in him to be able to see. He said he is seeing fine.
I told him and several other staff members, “I’m here right now telling you the truth. I’m passing through one time. I’m not coming back. So, whether you believe me or not, one day you will need the light, and His name is Jesus.”
I did not realize it, but I have been living my life as a job to be done. Always on time, prepared to do the job, no matter how hard, and to finish strong. Oh me, when the Lord gave me, hopefully, a few more years, like in a great novel, with a feel-good ending, I needed to see my life as a well-written story with a satisfying end. Not a life with rolled-up sleeves attacking the world, but a person who enjoys her life. This new me should make life easier for the people around me.
Most important, I got to experience the love and support of friends and family before my time to leave the earth. I couldn’t believe how many cared about me, how they met in prayer groups to pray, and sent beautiful, over-the-top words as if they wrote my eulogy before my departure date. I felt so much love and respect. Everyone should experience this kind of appreciation from others.
There were many more things I learned in the throes of darkness fighting against the light, which I will share another time.
Final brushstroke: Thank you again for all the prayers and love and those who have come alongside me. Yes, I don’t think I could have learned these lessons any other way. I have a few months of healing ahead, but I see the beauty of the people around me and the beauty of this life. Thanks to all of you.
Reader comments
Appreciated words from Mark Crain, who so many know.
“Oh my DEAREST DEAREST FRIEND who is left back in P town! Oh I have hit my knees for your behalf! I just got last week’s paper and read your entry. Yes, in two months I will turn 78 but what a precious privilege to fall on my knees and lift you up to our Savior Jesus Christ for absolute and complete healing of your body! Oh how I wish I could see that magnificent smile! You take care my dearest friend as you have shared so much Love towards me, I want you to know that I pounded Glory for your complete healing! HE told me yes. HE wants you back also! Love you dear sister and my most special friend who has taught me so much! I hope this medicine helps. Say a big HI to Sweet Al and a giant gift of love and prayer to you my dearest friend. I will stay in touch. Mark Crain.”
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