My dog argues with me. When I’m gathering my keys, my wallet and heading for the door, I tell her she can’t come this time. She scrambles forward with an insistent bark and looks me straight in the eye: “But I wanna go with you.” And this is OK because she’s engaged in a relationship with me. She’s communicating her true desires and her affection for me.
When Jesus chose his disciples, Mark’s gospel relates He appointed the 12 first “that they might be with him” (Mark 3:14-15, NIV). The Son of Man and God wanted human companionship. Again, when visiting his friends Mary, Martha and Lazarus, He commends Mary for sitting at his feet, soaking up his words, and for her lavish expression of love in her outpouring of expensive perfume upon his feet. In comparison, her sister, Martha, while well-intentioned, was preoccupied with all the preparations involved in her welcoming hospitality. Her warm gesture was not wrong, but Jesus wanted to call her from her fears and frets into a deeper relationship with Him.
This yearning for relationship is reiterated throughout the Old Testament, as well.
God, via his prophets, constantly repeats to the nation of Israel: “I shall be your God, and you shall be my people” and “I will remove your heart of stone, and replace it with a heart of flesh” (Exodus 6:7; Jeremiah 31:33; Ezekiel 11:19-20, 36:26-28, NIV). But his people, like us today, oft times honored Him with their lips, while their hearts were far from Him, their worship composed only of the rituals and regulations imposed by men (Isaiah 29:13, Ezekiel 11:19-20, NIV). Yet the prophet declared the Lord’s longing to extend his graciousness to them, His ascending to show them compassion, his bestowing of blessing on all who waited for Him (Isaiah 30:18, NIV). Longing, graciousness, rising, compassion, blessing, waiting — all themes of deep connection. The prophet continues — in their anguish, God suffered anguish, and his love and mercy redeemed them. Even when they grieved Him, He lifted them up and carried them (Isaiah 63:9, NIV). Anguish and empathy; love, mercy, redemption; lifting and carrying in the midst of grief — all words of throbbing relationship.
But relationship flows both ways. We love Him because He first loved us and called us into relationship. Rites or rules learned by rote don’t bring us closer to God. Nor does obtaining knowledge about God forge deep bonds with our creator. Faced with the Pharisees’ austere, legal demands of the way we should “worship” God, Jesus said His Father desired mercy and not sacrifice, the acknowledgment of His presence in our lives, not burnt offerings (Hosea 6:6, NIV). When his people were bemoaning the lack of God’s response when they brought Him their sacrifices of calves, and rams, and doves, and rivers of oil, the prophet Micah reminded them: “He has shown you, O man, … what the Lord requires of you: To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God,” (Micah 6:8, NIV). These are the characteristics of relationship, not multistep formulas or collected knowledge.
Lastly, all healthy relationships make room for disagreement, doubt, or bargaining. The historical heavyweights of Judeo-Christian scripture — Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, James, John, Thomas — all conversed candidly with God, brought audacious requests to the table, violated divinely prescribed boundaries to fulfill human need, openly questioned and exposed their doubts. There was no slavish kowtowing, or relating at arm’s length, or rebellious reactions. They were engaged in authentic relationship with their creator. Thus, they were heard, respected and responded to.
Increasingly, my dog is gaining this status as well.
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