Trying to remember life before cancer is like looking at a bare tree in the dead of winter and trying to imagine it in the blaze of fall.
Cancer is a shadow over your whole life. Even if you think yourself free of it for a while it is still there, lurking ...like the last ghost in the Christmas Carol, a wraith that points his long sharp fingers at you. It has no face; just the energy of death.
The words “Cancer” and “Death” seem synonymous. Have you noticed that? I have. Sometimes I wonder why we fight death so hard; we know it will get us eventually, just not now. I think it may be the child in us that fights so hard; the summer of our lives we fight for.
I remember waking up on a summer morning, smelling the freshly-cut grass and hearing the lawnmower, knowing we had the whole day to play on our bikes. “
Be home by dark”, they said; a whole day of fun and adventures. After supper, we’d play games in the street with all the kids — “kick the can,” “piggy wants a signal,” hot and sweaty from running; being awakened in the middle of the night to eat homemade peach ice cream right out of the freezer on the back porch with neighbors.
How about the magic of the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, the magic of Disney, the smell of homemade chocolate chip cookies? That is what we are fighting for — the magic moments in life.
Maybe that is what is missing in our lives as we age.
I know the magic is there but I sometimes forget to look for it. I am busy thinking about my day and multitasking.
It is easy to see magic in nature or on a child’s face, but what about in less obvious places like on a crowded street, in a grocery store, in a traffic jam or in a coffee shop on an ordinary day?
I’ve decided to keep a special pair of glasses on my desk to remind me to find magic — my magic glasses — I will let you know if that helps me get better at finding summer magic no matter what time of year.