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Too much flannel in Pagosa

Al’s brother, David, came up for the weekend.

He invited Al and me over for dinner. In the course of the evening, we talked. As we talked, I shook my head in disbelief.

David, who is still in the dating scene at seventy-seven years old, was reminiscing.

It always comes around to the young women who are texting him, trying to get his attention in the bar, or the ones he sees nightly in the clubs.

He says he’s not looking for anyone, but the women are looking.

I said, “You are all looking for love in all the wrong places.”

He said the women have good guys at home but are out in the dating scene looking for something else. He admits they aren’t going to find it and he says it is a sad thing. His ex-wife, being one of them. along with a slew of women in their fifties, are trying to stay young.

I was exasperated. I said, “What are these married women thinking they are doing? You know their marriages aren’t going to last if they are out running around with single women looking for men. That’s what happened to your marriage. If they have good guys at home, why are they looking for someone else?”

He said, “They are bored.”

“If they are bored, they need to look at themselves. After years of marriage, things change, but if you hang in there, it gets better and better.”

He said,“Maybe there is something wrong with me.”

“I think there is.”

Then he said, “All those women are hitting fifty and are getting desperate and they feel old.”

“Why don’t they try looking for a nice guy at church? There are some really nice single guys in church and they are looking for good women.”

That notion was like something from out of this world.

He said, “The women wouldn’t do that.”

I told him I have a male friend in his forties, not married, looking for a girl who wears Victoria Secret twenty-four hours a day, and wants a good woman for his children, if and when he has children. My friend says, there is too much flannel in Pagosa.

David agreed and said he wanted the same thing.

I told him that I advised my friend that I didn’t think he wanted that kind of girl, she would be too much into herself, she wouldn’t even notice him, much less his children, if he had any.

Then, I asked David, “Don’t you want substance?”

His answer was this: “To have a size 3 who wears Victoria Secret twenty-four hours a day, and who has substance, was too much to ask for.”

David then proceeded to tell us about a woman by the name of Rosalie whom he knew when he was in high school. He admits he was a bad boy back then. She was really cute, but she wanted to get married. He said Rosalie was at the gym the other day. This 77-year-old little woman shuffled up to him. He said she was very nice, but she was an old woman. She was still married to the same guy from high school days and apparently very happy.

He said he thought to himself, “If I would have married her, what in the world would I do with her today. She is really old.”

I said “Love her. I’m sure she is relieved she missed that bullet.”

Then I thought, what in the world is this guy thinking? I don’t believe we are having this conversation.

About that time, my Sweet Al said, “It’s nine o’clock, we need to get home. It’s our bedtime.”

Then David said, “Yes, it is time for you old folks to get home and get to bed.”

Final brushstroke: Rosalie can thank the Lord. She is probably wearing flannel and sleeping in peace next to a guy who loves her. He is probably sleeping with a smile on his face. He is not worried where his wife is; he knows he has a good woman beside him.

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