“Honey, do you think these pants make me look big?”
“Oh no, Doll, you look cute as a button.”
Luckily, love is blind. My Sweet Al sees only what he wants to see. It’s been a grand old winter. We have sat in front of the fireplace on those cold winter evenings and ate ice cream. We’ve tried new recipes, baked wonderful desserts, piled on the cheese and tuned into the “Biggest Loser.” We’ve enjoyed the family and ate all the wrong things. Someone has been sitting at her computer for hours on end and has been beefing up.
On the other hand, I see very plainly what my My Sweet Al is up to. He also has been stocking up this winter. He has been visiting all the thrift stores in the area. Weekly, he, with our daughter, have enjoyed themselves very much. They bought little things and everything that was too good to pass up.
I warned them both, you’re bringing home stuff, and you don’t need it.
“It was too good to pass up; I know I’ll use it.”
I continued to tell Al, quit looking for good deals. What are you going to do with all of this stuff? Our closets are full and your garage is full. He turned a deaf ear to me.
Now the time has come. Someone has to do something about all of this extra bulk. I can’t fit into my pants, and Al’s car won’t fit into his garage.
He said to me, “Honey, will you help me get everything ready for a garage sale? You need to help me price things.”
I turned a deaf ear and said, ask your daughter, your partner in crime, your shopping companion. Some one was having a grand old time buying the stuff and bringing it home. I told you not to do it.
“Oh, she has to work. She can’t help me.”
Someone brought it in, and it wasn’t me, I told him.
“So that means you’re not going to help me,” Al pouted.
You know I don’t like to do garage sales. I have better things to do.
Exasperated, he said, “Quit saying someone brought it in. Why are you always talking in the third person? There are only two of us who live in this house, it is either you or me. I hate it when you say that.”
I thought I was being kind. My, I didn’t know we were so touchy!
Meanwhile, garage sale season has begun. I’m putting out a county alert! If my Sweet Al shows up at your garage sale, refuse to sell to him. Send him home. If he stops by your store — I am sure you know him by name — don’t give him any good deals.
I know I will have to help Al eventually with a garage sale, but I am going to let him sweat a little more.
For me, someone is looking chunky. I can only fit in to two pairs of pants. I have to downsize, too.
It’s good to be deaf, blind and in love — you don’t have to deal with it.
“It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.” Al Batt
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