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Couch potatoes are looking better all the time

Why do good girls love “bad boys?”

Of course I’m thinking about Al’s brother, David, who is definitely a bad boy who girls love.

David calls. “Where’s Al?,” he booms?

“He’s sitting on the couch looking at the NASCAR race. By the way, people say they like reading about you. I haven’t talked to you for a while, how’s your love life?”

“Nothing is going on.”

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll write about the time when your parents went out of town and left you in charge. Poor Al, he was only sixteen. You took him out to Tijeras Canyon where Glen Campbell was playing in his Uncle Bill’s band. You got Al drunk, he ended up dancing in some married woman’s trailer. You came looking for Al and said, ‘Al, get out of there before her husband comes home and shoots you. ‘You introduced him to that life and you almost got him shot.’ That happened in 1953 and you’re still looking for trouble.”

I hear a deep, rumbling laugh.

“So, really, what is going on?” I asked.

“Kellie texted me,” David said. “We dated for about eight months some time ago. She’s 35, and a knockout. She has a boyfriend but she wanted to go out with me. She said her boyfriend loved her and wanted to marry her, but she didn’t want to be married.”

I asked, “Why is she calling you if she has a boyfriend?”

David said, “I don’t know. I know the guy and told her he’s probably sitting on the couch.”

She said, “Come to think of it, that’s exactly what he is doing.”

Then David asked me, “Do you remember Lisa? I brought her up to Pagosa.”

I said I did; I gave her a painting lesson. You told me not to get religious with her. I didn’t, but she wanted to talk about God. She wanted to make sure I knew she was a good girl, not to think wrong of her. She thought she loved you. I told her I knew she was a nice girl and asked what in the world was she doing in Pagosa with you?

David continued, “I saw Lisa the other night, she also has a boyfriend, but she came over and started kissing all over me like I was some lost friend. These women are all nuts. I mean, they are nuts.”

“What do you do to them?”

“I’m not doing anything. By the way, the business is going great.” David added.

David has invested in an eating establishment in Albuquerque. They just opened for business and it’s packed every night with women. And, of course, where women go, men will follow. An investor has just offered to buy into the business for $12 million. They plan to have a chain of 50 restaurants in the next five years. This is the life of the bad boy. I shake my head and sigh.

Now, on the other hand, I look over at my Sweet Al, 74, same parents, same tree, different fruit, and he says, “These women have more at home than they know what to do with. I don’t understand.”

I said to Al, “Thank God, I’m glad you don’t. Stay sweet like you are.”

The day before David called; we were standing in the Subway line ordering a foot-long. Al says to me, “Hon, order for me.”

I ordered what we always get, a $5 foot-long, to share.

Al looked over at what our daughter was ordering and said, “She is getting two meats. I want two meats.”

“That’s not what I ordered,” I said.

“I want two meats.”

“Share with our daughter or you can order your own.”

“I want to share with you.”  

 I looked over at our daughter and said, “Your Daddy is starting to act old. Isn’t this how old men act?” We both laughed. I’ll admit its happening to me, too. I said to some friends, “I am starting to shuffle when I walk.” Al leaned over to me and said, “You can shuffle over to me any time. Tee Hee.”

“Tee Hee” wouldn’t cut it in the nightlife of Albuquerque. Al is discussing two meats on a $5 foot-long, and his brother is enjoying a $500 bottle of wine with a table of guests.

Well, when nightfall comes, I know where Al is. He sitting on the couch and he will ask, “What’s on Hallmark tonight?” For David, I’m not sure what bed he is sleeping in. I wouldn’t want either to change, and they couldn’t change if they wanted to.

David says to me, laughing, “You’ve ruined me in Pagosa.”

I told him,“I’m just giving the women in Pagosa a head start.”

Final brushstroke: Can anyone answer my question? Why do good girls love bad boys? They leave the one who loves them sitting on the couch and will go after someone who really doesn’t care.

Artist’s quote

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs, visionary.


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